Friday, August 7, 2009
Words are All I Have
There are a million realities I wish you had known. Even though, sometimes, my mind confuses realities, truths, and facts with illusions. And I can't see clearly, suddenly, everything becomes a blur.
And, so, I don't know if those realities I had wanted you to know are real.
But now I don't, now it's all gone, it's all buried in that dark little corner. That's what you do, really, as the days go by; some things you hold on to, and others you just throw onto that pile.
Humans are a very complicated species. And I am a very complicated human.
There are a thousand truths I want you to be blind to, and I smile. I smile because all is beautiful. Even my tears- even yours. Tears are fresh, very fresh, raw emotions, that's why they are wet. And a smile? A smile is just...how do you describe a smile? There's a fake smile, and a real smile, a true smile and a sarcastic smile...there's a mischievous smile and a sincere smile...
and I smile.
Will you put up with me...and my incoherent, fragmented thoughts? The words that don't make sense and those that don't matter...but I wish you knew, I wish you could understand that words are all I have. And that my words are always true. And sincere. And that they flow directly from my heart. And yes, my heart has always been troublesome, I have a very bad heart. I don't know if that is entirely true,though, because sometimes I think it's my mind that causes all the trouble.