Monday, August 30, 2010

When was the last time you sent the universe some love?

  1. thank you for the birthday wishes!! I will respond in a more personal manner soon! My laptop had failed me but it's back now!
  2. I need inspiration. Tons of inspiration right now.
  3. This is my first post as a twenty-three year old.
  4. My car failed me today, but it's up and running now!
  5. I went to this really, really cool concert on Friday and well, here's a song. It's by Donia Massoud, and she sings Egyptian folkloric songs. This is a song from Aswan. Listening to this song in an open air space, the crowd fell silent, and I was in a place by myself- in my head...close to heaven

I have so much love within me that I don't know where to direct, and it's frustrating really is. I have so much love for my family, which it irritates me and it backfires. I miss my best friend. I have so many books to read and so much potential to explore. I want to take the time to love myself, which I have mentioned before but haven't done yet. 

I know I may sound like a nerd, which I am, really, but I miss school. I go back on Wednesday the 5th. And I can't remember for the life of me which classes I am taking. Oh wait, I remember (I cheated from here) I am taking economic growth and development and ECON 506: economics of competitiveness which is a Harvard economics course! I am so excited! Because not only are the classes interesting (at least to me) but this semester, I'd be half way through my masters- I am doing it part time.

Bedtime for me. More interesting post, I hope, tomorrow.

Thursday, August 26, 2010

Who's the Birthday Girl?

I AM!!

I can't believe I turned twenty-three! I'll get used to the number :)

And my birthday is filled with pleasant surprises so far. Tons of them (and one unpleasant surprise.. yes he meant me by that)

People who count are amazing to me! My friends, my family and my friends from work! Who very generously and amazingly nice of them (I just love them, honestly) got me a birthday gift that could never be more "me"!

Thank you for making me feel loved xx (especially you girls who sent me emails- I love you)

Tuesday, August 24, 2010

4 am

I feel I owe it to myself to write this.

It's 4 am and I am very emotional. I have been far from productive at work and I don't like it. Speaking of work, the iftar with my work friends was beyond amazing. And I had loads of fun.
Also speaking of work...

Seif and I went to school together, all through our school years, so he is a familiar face, the kind of person you feel comfortable around because he's been there in the past, in your life. In mine, that is. He lives close to where I live so we went to school on the same bus. And his mum knows mine (they worked together) Anyway, so Seif and I went to different universities, and well, we've worked together now for 6 months. But now he's leaving. Now that we are friends, if I may say, he's leaving. But I am so proud of him (if that, too, I may say) because, he's going to London to study for his Master's and he's getting married before he does. And well, I am just so happy for him!! We definitely share a couple of interests or more, and there's so much he's taught me, like reading a certain newspaper, and how to compile a country profile, how to prepare a company profile and basically everything I do at work.. I have him to thank! And I really do wish him all the luck in the world, because he deserves it.

Now on to the self centered part of this post. Because, I know no one should ever say this, but I have been far too selfless lately, I can say that the only way I have been taking care of myself is...well, working out. And that is not enough. I need to celebrate myself, to take care of myself and to take pride in myself. I had a quote about changing one's self/life as a facebook status and when I though of what it is that I want to change, I realized there was nothing to change. I am okay. I am more than enough and that's how I am happy. And if I am happy, that's all I'll ever need. I only need to sop putting things off. Like going to Paris, and starting to work on my book. I only have a concept in mind and a huge pile of Moleskines, but no words, no draft...nothing. And Paris, well I should start working on that, and, from there, things should work themselves out.

everything changes & it’s exciting & lovely & such an alluring part of life. everything happens for some reason. everything will work out & it will be such a beautiful ending to an adventurous tale. when things feel awful it’s hard to see the outcome. it’s hard to stay positive & stretch our limbs to the sky each day. people leave, we leave, & it’s always hard because you think: why didn’t they love me? what did i do wrong? do they care? what about me? & you let those questions, each question, hollow you out a little more until your body is the heaviest hollow there could be. you can feel the question, each question, ache in different parts. why didn’t they love me, how could they love someone more? it aches in your belly, keeps you from eating. what did i do wrong? your constant retelling of every moment spent together, analyzing, it aches your whole skull. do they care? the thought that they don’t care, that they don’t think about your needs or worries or wants, well that aches in all the limbs. these aches make us weak, they keep us in bed fearing sleep. they keep us from telephones, from computers, from friends. because ‘why did they leave, why did they leave me?’   we are self centered by nature. people exist in our lives because they are meant to. each person, lovely or awful. they exist for exactly the amount of time they should. they teach us things. little things, extraordinary things about ourselves, our lives, the everything around us. that doesn’t make it easier to say good bye. it doesn’t make it easier to think that they have finished their task, made you stronger, & we must be strong. we must be strong. you exist,& it is extraordinary.

Monday, August 23, 2010

Very Long Post(Monday 23rd)

Nicole posted this and Elizabeth Gilbert's quote just left me speechless...

A soul mates purpose is to shake you up, tear apart your ego a little bit, show you your obstacles and addictions, break your heart open so new light can get in, make you so desperate and out of control that you have to transform your life, then introduce you to your spiritual master..." 
"Break your heart so new light can get in" scratch your little cut so it hurts this tiny bit, yes, I know how that feels...I know how it feels. A soul mate intimidates you at times when you are feeling this little bit too comfortable in a place you have reached and loved, it's not that you need to be constantly on the move, you just need the challenge every now and then. I guess.

My cousin, whose husband passed away a little over a month ago, was here to have iftar with us. She cooked her husband's favorite food so that his favorite people would eat it. I think this is the sweetest thing ever. I know this is Day 21's extraordinary thing.

Day 20 was a night on my best friend's roof, lots of people and side conversations and playing twister and I always love nights like these...oh, and I've learnt of something that I didn't really like, or never quite expected rather- but it's okay. My sister came back yesterday and got my first birthday gift; a Michael Kors handbag which I find BEAUTIFUL! My little sister got me my first birthday gift!

Days 18 and 19 were exceptional if I may say. But apart from that, the 18th was supposed to be mine and my ex's 3rd anniversary, and it felt a bit odd that it's just another day this year. But that was during the day, I don't think I gave it much thought after iftar..Oh and I saw Hannah!! And I met this friend of mine, who just gave me this energy to realize things. (How come your link seems to be broken?)

Yesterday was a rather weird day, because I ended up in my car with around a dozen guys outside...well, this is not something I would usually do, and hadn't there been someone I am comfortable around, I would have definitely left... but I enjoyed the liberty of not having someone to tell me not to. Of asking me to go home. Of asking me to not be around all those guys.

Today I am going to have iftar with my friends from work and I am looking forward to it, even though I have a productivity of zero due to lack of sleep... I am looking foward to that. I had a great morning. I had a great morning and a talk that was rather intimidating- but intimidating is good. Always, always good.

Wednesday, August 18, 2010

Extraordinary, Curious Tuesday and a mini-list

I always make lists..because they just put me at ease! Among the list of my favorite things:

  1. Eating a mango with all my five senses. YUM!
  2. Driving fast on quiet morning with the windows down, listening to my favorite driving songs.
  3. Being goofy with my cousins.
  4. My cousins
  5. Laughing. and smiling.
I forgot to mention that the fourteenth marked 6 months at my job, time flies really does!

Day 15: My boss tweeted that I was profound!

Day 16: I actually had a blog post written about me! And the book signed addressed to the "future minister of development"!!! YES, that would be me! It was such an ego boost....that someone could see that in me...that my aspirations are not so entirely beyond what I can achieve.. or what people see in me.

Day 17: I was about to crash into a car with my cousin's son beside me and I got away with it. Swerved the car last minute! My cousins and I drove along the 6th of October bridge just so the Alexandrian (where they have no bridges) would enjoy it and we saw the Nile. And back. I just had a mango :)

I have been losing followers. And we are losing a friend now, she needs your prayers, our 20 year old friend suddenly went into a coma, internal bleeding..her brain...brain tumor. Life support...they're waiting for her heart to stop.

On another note, my mum got me 10 LE leggings...(a bit less than $2!) And I need to check me some blogs. It's just that fasting and I haven't been getting along that well. No coffee, no food and no water until 6:30 pm and going to work and the gym while fasting...I don't really respond to stimuli under such see.

Yes, I see. I see a beautiful city that I am in love with. I see the blessed person that I am (aren't we all?) I see a brighter tomorrow. I see you. I see me. I see. I. See. (with everything I am)

Have you seen Gala's curious Tuesday? I love it!

Love & marriage, love & marriage, go together like a horse & carriage…
1. How do you feel about marriage as a concept? Idealistic, very, very much so...maybe if we don't set such high expectations, things would be different.
2. Do you think you’ll ever want to get married? Maybe someday (the break up has cultivated a cynic within me..oh our would've been 3rd anniversary is here..) I originally wanted to get married ASAP, but now I feel like I have a long way to go, when it comes to getting to know me.
3. If you did get married, would you want a big blow-out celebration or would you keep it low-key? A HUGE WEDDING! A HUGE, HUGE WEDDING!! And it would be quirky and special and bright and lovely!

Sunday, August 15, 2010

Days 10, 11, 12, 13 and 14!!

Day 10: I got a compliment from my boss..which made me feel flattered, so very flattered. Wednesday was the first day of Ramadan. And we fast all from around 3:40 am (fagr prayer) until 6:45 pm (sunset) no food, no water, what we do is have a very late dinner and we did that together, my brother and sisters and parents and grandmother and that moment I missed my sister even more..but I love huge gatherings never the less!

Day 11: wow that was such a great day...I saw my old, forever lasting friend Youssef, who has moved to the US and I only get to see very rarely! And I love him! (he's the friend I jumped around upon receiving his call!) He's my forever best friend, or so I like to think. Yesterday, my very good friend also came back from his mini Euro-trip and brought back maps and a T-shirt and I am oh so happy! I ran into school friends as well and met new people.

Day 12: Why can I not remember what happened on Thursday? Ah now I do! We hung out in a garden, which something no one ever does, BUT we get to enjoy the weather, and the grass (with the occasional accident) for free, and we can be as loud as we can and everything. Days like that make me happy. Simple, spontaneous and sweet!

Day 13: that was such a funny day, I was supposed to go to my best friend's and cook steaks and pasta, ended up cooking a sad excuse of a pasta was tons of fun nevertheless!! We sat on the roof, looked at the sky and enjoyed a beautiful, beautiful breeze. At least I did!

Day 14: I have been looking at the world with an extraordinary mindset for two weeks now. And I might not have been doing all the "extraordinary" things, but to me they felt special... Today was special! You see, my father came back from Saudi Arabia last December after having lived there for 7 years, and my best friend and I have been friends for 4 years, so until today, they hadn't met. It was the first time for them to meet today! And I loved it! In fact, today we had this little iftar gathering at my place, my mum cooked, and my favorite people were all there in one place, around the same table, sharing the same food (a couple of people were missing if we were to include ALL my favorite people..but those matter, they really really do)

Only twelve days to go!! Happy Birthday Lauren!

Tuesday, August 10, 2010

Days 5, 6, 7, 8 and 9!

Day 5: I went to beautiful Alexandria and saw my second cousin who I hadn't seen in such a long while!

Day 6: Woke up to a beautiful, beautiful view. The Mediterranean. And I went shopping- I spent so much money but then it's okay, I guess...

Day 7: I spent time with my dad. Which I haven't done in so long as well!

Day 8: Was the sweetest girl's birthday, Mae, you're beautiful and you are blessed with people who love you. You shine!

Day 9: I emailed one of my very best friends from school who I very rarely see, since I have changed my number and I heard he was here in Cairo...he called me!! I hung up and jumped around the room and was overwhelmed with happiness honestly. I had a heart-to-heart with my best friend for the first time in a relatively long time and I just feel so relieved and like a huge load (and barrier) has been lifted.

It's day 10 and I am stuck at work until 7...tomorrow is Ramadan; a whole month of fasting until sunset, no morning coffees and even more conjested traffic. But, it's so much fun!! It's the month of huge gatherings, rooftops with friends, and lots of good food. I am actually getting quite excited (apart from the fact that on Thursday, I am going to the dentist at 3 and will have to do without pain killers until 8ish..that would be my 3rd visit...root canal, I know..)

Something is wrong with my computer/internet won't upload any photos..and the post looks odd. OH, I almost forgot to mention that one of my two gorgeous bosses' booksigning was yesterday! Go check her blog out!

Now you can see why I love my job! (apart from the boss ladies and a senior researcher, we are a team of 87ers!! Of which I am probably the only one who hasn't turned 23 yet..)

Thursday, August 5, 2010

Days 3 and 4

I am in so much pain as I write this. But..nothing will stop me from being positive :)

3 am, on the 3rd of August, my sister left to the US. Let me tell you about my sister, she's 18 months younger than I am and we've basically done everything together throughout our lives. She left before alone, but to Saudi Arabia - an 90 minute flight. Never that far; if you know the both of us in person, you would know that this is very hard for me to admit, but I miss my sister.

So day 3: Admitting I am going to miss my sister and painting using watercolors which made me feel like a five year old and I was so happy!

Day 4: Painful, but I went to the dentist and had some way overdue work done on my teeth. What is special about that is 1. I have a fear of dentists, and I went alone. 2. I paid!! Using my very own money (and not my parents') which is a first!

My new friend Lucia gave me an award :) Thank you lovely!

The Versatile Blogger Award

There are some rules to this award:
1. Thank the person who gave you the award
2. Share seven things about you
3. Nominate 6 newly discovered blogs
4. Let your nominees know about the award! 

7 things about me:
1. I talk to myself in the shower, in the car, when I am alone...etc.
2. I am obsessed with shoes and making a change.
3. I went to Hajj 3 times.
4. I go to my favorite bookstore when I am lonely, or sad..or depressed. I can resist shopping for clothes but never books! 
5. I want to be a professor...or anything academia related.
6. I love food. Both cooking and eating food! 
7. My grandfather was my best friend. Is it okay if I put one more random thing about me? My family and friends mean a lot to me. And I am happiest when I am by the Red Sea/Mediterranean sea/ the Nile and I have the sun in my eyes. 

The new found bloggers I am going to tag are: The Purple Fairy. Chase Simplicity. Triumphs and Blunders of a Kooky Gal. Can I just tag everyone?

Tuesday, August 3, 2010

26 Days of Extraordinary

Day 2

Today I am going to buy myself flowers. And for the lovely people in my life. I might dry some flowers and send them to my lovely lady bloggers, too! but that's not yet confirmed, when it is I will let everyone know :)

I feel so grateful today. For everything and everyone in my life. How can you not be grateful when you have such cuteness in your life?

This, ladies (and gentlemen) is my lovely (baby) brother.
I had intended on going to this place to paint some ceramic mug, or maybe something for my time capsule! (thank you for the amazing suggestion, Veronika!) But then, they weren't working today.

What was extraordinary about today was the fact that I was happy with it being ordinary. I looked at Copic markers and I want a set. I got an international phone call that might be forgotten but it made my day. It totally and entirely made my day. Why? Because it was unexpected. I never expected it and it was such a random event.

Yes, that is what was extraordinary about today. (I need suggestions for tomorrow)

Monday, August 2, 2010


So it's my birthday month already!
And time is flying by so fast- so fast! I am not scared, I am actually excited.

Want to know why?

Today marks the beginning of my Twenty-Six Days of Extraordinary! Or my way of making the last 26 days of my being a certain age extraordinary and memorable (22 in this year's case)

I would love it if everyone would join me, or suggest things to do. Or just share the inspiring vibe of "extraordinariness", you know?

Day 1:

  • I paid my gym subscription and after almost a year, I worked out! Can you tell I am high on endorphins? Lots of exclamation marks and positivity and aaaaah! I LOVE IT!
  • If you know me, you know I have a few unhealthy habits that I hate to admit, among which is that I drink too much coffee- I am usually the one who would lead a healthy today marks my going back to that.
  • Working out. 2 cups of coffee a day. Fewer carbs, and so on. Suggestions?
I will randomly decide on something for tomorrow (I have nothing in mind, do you?) And I will let you know about it.

PS Liz, thank you for all the Paris inspiration, I think it's all finally materializing!