Thursday, July 30, 2009

Family Convention (results)

Yesterday, my cousin Rana and I, randomly decided that we need to gather and talk. All of us with the surname "El-Sayeh" except for my cousin Yasmine, who is busy preparing for the legal/religious part of getting married her "katb ketab"!!

I am very happy for her, it was obviously a very spontaneous decision, but still, I am happy for her.

Becky has asked me if I was still getting married...and all I have to say is that I am going through times of crisis.. identity crisis to be specific, and I am trying to figure things out. Mohammed is being the great person he is. And is very patient with me.
You are the substance
the very material
my dreams are made of.

— Daily Haiku on Love by Tyler Knott Gregson
And it's times like these, that you know you have people who love you, genuinely. I have a great family! My sister Salma, and my cousins (Amr, Rana and Hamoudi) who were all there, everyone sharing a piece of their mind-and their heart, for that matter! We left feeling closer to each other, the closest ever. Because we shared. Everyone shared what has been bothering them and what it is they can say to help the other. 
I will not say that I left that balcony in peace, nor that I have reached peace of mind, but I can say that I have gathered input for when my thinking process begins.
Thinking scares me honestly. It scares me, and I put it off, and it only makes things worse. It scares me because consequences scare the life out of me.
 The Little Prince is such an amazing book! In it's simplicity it invigorates my thoughts..I love it. Any one has any book suggestions? Books that would inspire me and make me think...that would take me away from this?

Run your fingers through my soul. For once, just once, feel exactly what I feel, believe what I believe, perceive as I perceive, look, experience, examine, and for once, just once, understand.
— Sarah Otto here

PS I have a job interview on Sunday!!


Athena. said...

Oh, Sara! I hope you're okay,
the family convention sounded really good.. just to gather and share and talk and let it all out.
I love you, too!
And I hope everything works out for the best :)
And good luck for your job interview!

p.s. thinking about the future frightens me so much. thinking about what decisions to make, and the consequences. It'll be okay, though. Because everything's okay in the end - or it just can't be the end.
If that makes sense.

Athena. said...

p.s. thankyou for that lovely comment. I really hope you find someone you can talk to!
If not, I'm always here, you can email me, if you'd like - I'm half a world away but one click close :)
I know it's hard to talk about secrets that no-one knows about. It's as though they're stuck inside of you. But a life coach sounds like a good idea, I think.
Please be well,
I love you. x

Anonymous said...

Nice choice of photographs!

And I tend to put off thinking about relationship stuff quite a lot. But sometimes I don't think you're supposed to think too much when it comes to relationships: it's more about intuition than fact. We're capable of distroying the most perfect of things if we think enough and we're nervous or afraid or freaking out.
Obviously I don't know your specific situation, but if it's regarding staying in or leaving your relationship, you'll know without intense thinking. It either feels right or it doesn't. You're either hanging around because you're afraid of being alone and the 'what ifs' or you're hanging around because your heart and soul needs to and anything but being with this person seems unnatural (and I don't mean because you're breaking a habit).

Just don't mess your head up because you could do damage that didn't need to be done.

And yes, that scene in Breakfast at Tiffany's is just simple perfection! =)

Mika said...

Hi Sara, hang on over there. There will be better times on the way. And congrats with the intervieuw job. Mika

Sophia said...

beautiful pictures! your blog is so deep, i enjoy reading it. congrats on the interview job!

ps: i just realized we never exchanged links. want to? :)

Anonymous said...

this post says so many unsaid things to me. i have been away from blogland for some time. am catching up today. hope all is well.

nicole addison said...

hey dear, just letting you know i tagged you on my blog! xoxo

Farah said...

Sara that sounded so good! I am dying to have that kind of convention with my brothers. I haven't had that kind of talk time for two months already. =(

Chelsea Talks Smack said...

ahhhh that last quote is so beautiful.

Elizabeth Marie said...

Sara! Oh my gosh...I saw that haiku last night and just read it over and amazing.

Everything will work out-I feel like just letting go and following your gut is the best thing to do!

Job interview!!! OMG so excited! Let me know!! XOXO

Sophia said...

i linked ya :)

alissa said...

good luck at the job interview! identity crisis can be great things - you learn alot :)

Anonymous said...

Oh you are so brave, things will be, you will be, ok :) Good luck with the family! And GOOD LUCK for the job, I really hope you get it! I have an interview soon too and I'm want it so badly I refuse to talk about it so shhhh, but good luck to us both :) x

Miss B said...

The Elegance of the Hedgehog by Muriel Barbery

Tracy's Tiger (it's a short piece by William Saroyan, and it's one of my very favorite pieces of writing ever)

anything at all by Rilke

I will cross all my fingers and half of my toes for you and your job interview...

Maria-Thérèse said...

Crises are not necessarily a bad thing. They can help you see clearly and grow. I will keep my fingers crossed for you on Sunday!!! Is it for a social entrepeneur job?

Anna said...

good luck on your interview!! hugs all the way from kansas. : )

Kristin said...

A pow wow with my loved ones always helps me get perspective too!