A Lack of Colo(u)r

I have been struggling to find something to write for the past few days. Really hard. And I realized that I am not writing this for the comments, nor for the popularity.
I am writing this for me. And for you. Maybe we'll learn something out of this.
Maybe.

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I am scared.
I don't want life to pass me by...I don't want to wake up one day and realize that there are more wrinkles round my eyes, that my hair is more grey than anything.

I am too scared to wake up and realize that I don't know who I am...that I turned out to be someone else, not the person I had intended to be.

Does anyone else ever feel that way? Is it just me? am I too old for this?
I wanted you to know that I also write here along with five beautiful ladies.

I am also scared I have lost my words. I never want to lose my words.
There are certain questions in my head that I would rather leave unanswered, because the possibility of an answer I don't like kills me.

I am not depressed, just confused.

Any signs of Spring where you live? Blog about it! Please?

Lauren Started a Tradition

Fill in the Blank

Friday

1.  The best piece of advice I was ever given was     smile   .

2.  If I had a million dollars to give to one charity I would give it to     any charity that would develop slums into neighborhoods-proper ones .

3.  If I got to choose my "last meal" it would be      stuffed vine leaves, pancakes with maple syrup, lemon juice, a cup of very good cappuccino with skimmed milk, salmon sashimi and a killer salad  .

4.  My hair is     in desperate need of a trim-it lacks shape and has lots and lots of grey    .

5.  If at first you don't succeed    try again, oh and stop complaining about it  .

6.  I have always been very      cold, hesitant and scared to grow up- it's cute now but won't be when I am a 40 year old acting like I am 18  .

7.  Oh....and by the way....      I went to a stand-up comedy show today and saw Dean Edwards, Sugar Sammy (why is he so hot?), Dean Obeidallah, MAZ JOBRANI (I love him!)and Egypt's very own Ahmed Ahmed - LAUGHING DOES MAKE YOU FEEL BETTER    .

Wood and Politics

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I feel at home when I am around books. Or when amongst wooden walls. Dark, snug wooden walls. It's a pattern. My favorite bookstore has wooden interiors, and my favorite coffee shop. Maybe it's the color brown. A color that defines my existence. Caramel colored skin, hazel eyes and coffee brown hair.

On an entirely different note, Egypt is going through a now-or-never phase. A revolutionary one...or maybe an evolutionary phase. He wants to amend the constitution (which is much, much needed) and he has my support. I might not be that much of an activist- at least not as much as I want to be, but I love my country. I love my country deeply.

A long overdue tag!

I have been tagged by DT from Here I scribble

( So, I have to go through this!! LOL... )

1. What is your current obsession? FARMVILLE!

2. What are you wearing today? skinny jeans+brown belt, high top converse with sheep on them, bright blue top and very "traditional" dangling earrings "the eye" check here for an example of the eye.

google

3. What’s for dinner? I'll order some salad.

4. What’s the last thing you bought? 3 dozens of cupcakes that I'll be enjoying tomorrow!!

5. What are you listening to right now? my coworkers.

6. What do you think about the person who tagged you? I think she's adorable!

7. If you could have a house totally paid for, fully furnished anywhere in the world, where would you like it to be? Paris! or London...or Austria..or Interlaken (Switzerland) maybe Montreal? or how about Zamalek, Cairo? or all of the above! A girl can dream right?

8. One thing you want to change about yourself ? my thighs

9. If you could go anywhere in the world for the next hour, where would you go? Shakespeare and Co.

10. Which language do you want to learn? French and Italian.

11. What’s your favourite quote?  
Even after all this time the sun never says to the earth,
"You owe me."
Look what happens with a love like that, it lights the whole sky.
- Hafiz

12 . Would you cook for me? Sure!! I love cooking!

13. What is the right way to avoid people who purposefully hurt you? Staying away?

14. What are you afraid of the most? Regret- basically making the wrong decision..

15. Who do you want to meet right now? My grandfather..I miss him so much!!

16. What is your favourite colour? All shades of Blue!

17. Give us 3 styling tips that work for you. Messy hair, earrings, kohl...oh and if I think it matches, then it does!

18. What is your dream job? An author...or a social entrepreneur. I can do both!

19. What’s your favourite magazine? Glamour, UK

20. If you had $100 now, what would you spend it on? BOOKS. And accessories.

21. What do you consider a fashion faux pas? white boots.

22. What's your favourite thing to eat? Salmon, stuffed vine leaves and salad.

23. What brings a smile on your face instantly? My brother...and kindness

24. A word that you say a lot? "seriously"

25. What kind of haircut do you prefer? LAYERS, lots and lots of layers

26. What are you going to do after this? a bit of scrapbooking

27. What do you do when you are feeling low or terribly depressed? read, cry, write.

28. What makes you go wild? boredom

29. What are your favourite movies? Forrest Gump! For one..

30. What inspires you? Nature, people and good writing.

31. What do your friends call you most commonly? Kiki.

32. Would you prefer coffee or tea? Coffee!!

33. Which other blogs do you love visiting? A lot!

34. Favorite Dessert/Sweet? ginger cookies, cupcakes and yummy baked goods. And balah el sham

35. How many tabs are turned on in your browser right now? Two.

36. When you looked at yourself in the mirror today, what was the first thing you thought? I am getting wrinkles. Need more water.

37. Favourite Season? Summer!

38.One wish that you really want to see it come true? being happy, and a fairytale wedding.

39. What breaks your heart? things going bad.

40. What's one thing you really want to do in life? make a change.
41. What colour is your bra? White

Rules for those who are tagged :-

   1. Respond and rework – answer these questions on your blog, replace one question that you dislike with a question of your own, and add one more question to the list.

   2. Then tag eight or ten other new set of people.[Break the rules if you want but do Answer them all)]Note-Copy and paste karna hai yaar, delete mine and type in your answers and tag your friends to answer this, so simple.

I tag: everyone? I don't know if I've added a question...

formspring.me

Ask me anything http://formspring.me/kikiest I AM BORED!

Links.

I have something to show you; I think I am the oldest sister for those lovely ladies. Find them here. I think it's a gorgeous idea.

I found this on the recommended items on my reader. Perfect!

On Friday, I bought a book called "The Selected Works of T.S. Spivet"  (such a cool website) and I am absolutely in love with it!! It fascinates me to know that the author is only 29 and has managed t write such an amazing first book. I will be like him.

I will!

formspring.me

Ask me anything http://formspring.me/kikiest

Spring and Other Things

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Spring is finally here! The thought of it makes me happy. It was a happy weekend for me until last night when a slip of my tongue gave rise to a whole gossip cloud. And by gossip I mean seventh grade type of gossip and idiocy. All I have to say about this is that blackberry phones have only enriched and further supported Egypt's already strong and sound gossip network. Now, not only do all of the following provide you with gossip; your concierge (aka el bawab for us Egyptians), your hairdresser, your mani/pedi lady, the threading lady, the cook, the maid, the driver, add to the endless list; BBM! Perfect, right?

Anyway, that was a rant that kept me up all night. Almost. I just couldn't believe it. At twenty-two you should be over that kind of things. Let alone twenty-four!

But who can say what’s best? That’s why you need to grab whatever chance you have of happiness where you find it, and not worry about other people too much. My experience tells me that we get no more than two or three such chances in a lifetime, and if we let them go, we regret it for the rest of our lives. here

Sometimes, I feel like I need to write my own words, that I no longer relate to the already written ones and it makes me feel bad. It makes me feel lonely. It makes me feel like my existence will forever be an awkward one.
Someday, I will write my own.
Someday, it will all be okay.
Someday, it will work out.

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Someday.

Yesterday's Presentation

I took the day off from work yesterday so I could work on my monster presentation in international resource movements and foreign direct investment. It was nothing, just an in-class presentation, it's just that I was nervous and I have seen the professor attack two out of the four presenters who have presented before.

To cut a long story short: it went perfect!!

However, I spilt my water bottle in my bag, an incident that has victimised my poor phone, thank God my iPod is still safe (Along with everything else) I put the phone in front of the heater in hopes it would work (I'd done that before with my laptop)

“ We have all had that one person in our lives who believed in us when no one else would. Be that person for others. Robin Sharma

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Yesterday, as I was breathing for fresh air outside the library (where I spend most of my day) I was sort of talking to God in my head. I kept telling him that I am a good girl and that I deserve to do well. I did.

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It's the weekend!! How is everyone? and that is a genuine question to which I need input!

PS My bloggiversary was on the 4th and I totally forgot!!! Happy birthday, One Long Road! Thank you for being my friend :)

The Duality of Impact..or something like it.

I have a mini-story to tell.
Or maybe a reflection on something...

It amazed me today as I stood in front of one of the greatest artists of all time- at least I think so- all giggly and blushing...how it was one of the major events of my life. If not the major one. For it is. I don't think my life had many major incidents of that sort...up until today. The amazing thing is; it was such a major thing for me, and an insignificant thing for him.

Today I met him. One of my favorite composers. Composer of my favorite album. Son of a legend. I met Ziad Rahbani today!!! And I shook hands with him, listened to him speak, asked in surprise how and why he hadn't visited Egypt before. Said that Egypt is always beautiful. I love my country. I do.

I told him it was nice meeting him. What on Earth was I thinking? Couldn't I have thought of a better thing to say? Silly, silly Sara! But then again...I couldn't, I was so much in awe!

So yes, I met a celebrity an artist. I met an artist that matters. I can't believe he was standing there with now thousands of people gathered around him!

Thank you 


Job Update: It's going great so far!!! And no, I am not just saying that because my boss is now following my blog! Honest!

PS My cousin got engaged on Friday and I love her and now love her fiancé!

A Letter to Self

Dear You,
Thank you for writing this for me.

Dear Self,
The universe seems to have been conspiring against me...or maybe it's the voices in my head that wish for me to believe so- you see, I never blame myself, ever! Blame is something I can never accept because I believe I am never wrong.

I believe I exert more effort than required and that this should be appreciated. I wish I had more time on my hands...with a "job", two classes a week, friends to meet, and family- I never seem to have time for anything, let alone myself.

More split ends, eeky nails. Dark circles round my eyes...

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Yes, that's all I wish I could do. I wish I could fly. Fly and never come back. Oh and I wish my parents would give me a break, honestly, that's the only reason why I took that job; so they would give me a break and it never seems to stop. I know that's a lot of complaining and negative energy but I need to let it all out, okay? I never even have the time to write in my moleskine, or read! I hate it!!

I have to present on international resource movements and foreign direct investment a week from today and I need to start working on it. ew? Yes, it was my choice! mhmm, I am an idiot.

Anyway, you should be looking for more happiness and happy lists and bright sunlight and the sea..and sand. And wind in my hair...and ice cold lemonade because it's hot.

I love you, you are possible and you will make a change,

Love,

Sara

So;

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It's a nice weekend so far! I went to see Alice in Wonderland on Thursday, and I guess I had too high expectations with regards to that film, and I felt slightly disappointed. But I love Johnny Depp!

Yesterday was a roller-coaster. Arguing and shouting..no tears though. Then a great, great concert. And meeting Miss Walrus for the first time ever!

I came back to do my fill in the blanks...and I found that I couldn't- I wasn't prepared to think about such things..not the least bit. So I didn't.

Today I read two great blog posts. Here and here.

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I wrote this post yesterday but I don't know what it was that made me not post it. So yeah, the weekend has ended for me and I hope you all have a great Sunday! 

On Working for the Government

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So first day of work, I go into a room full of strangers and semi-strangers. Round tables of all men and all women. Not a single one with both.

At the door, there was a sign that said "induction 14th-25th of February". It is the second of March and I didn't go to the office yet. We still go to that place, together. And if it is anything I have gained, it's the friends.

The friends and the fact that people like me are a minority. Upper middle class Egyptians are a minority. And middle class Egyptians are different- very different. And so are those who are not from Cairo. I have non-Cairo roots, that's true- but I have never lived elsewhere, my parents are urban as well...

I now know that not everyone gets a diamond for their engagement/wedding ring. They get a set of gold jewellery; earrings, bracelet, ring and necklace. I know that different classes use different slang. That not all men know their etiquette...
I know that some people have gone through much, much worse things.

But most of all, it's that I am a minority. It hit me today. Speaking about apartments and tastes and things. It hit me. Wow, I am not like most of these people at all! But we still managed to get along, yeah? Yes.

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Hello, March!

Dear all, 

Make a happy list please?

Thank you,

Sara