secrets

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Look what Taylor did! I am beyond happy! Taylor, you just made my...YEAR!

I was talking to a friend of mine about how sometimes you have secrets. An accumulation of secrets can leave you with a heavy heart- with a heavy heart, you cannot float, and you cannot fly. You see, I like to have my head in the clouds...

And some secrets you just can't tell anyone. But I am the kind of person who always gets the urge to tell someone...and so came postsecret, and six billion secrets and so on.

I wrote a few secrets (the ones that I can never, ever tell anyone) on sheets of paper, folded them up, and hid them somewhere (I like to believe I hid them, but that "somewhere" is a very obvious place)

The whole point of this post is, through Taylor's post, I found sealaura and I thought, why not put the pieces of folded paper in a bottle, and through them in the Nile, in the sea, or, in many other people's cases, the ocean? or would that be littering?

Do you ever feel the same way? those secrets that make it harder to breathe? (even if it is to a very negligible extent?)

Here

You should be here.

With me.

Right there, next to me.

Sometimes I am lonely.

Other times I am just fine.

Right now I am fine.

here

Sometimes I feel like I need someone to unconditionally listen to me. Unconditionally. Someone who wouldn't mind being on the phone with me while I say nothing. Nothing at all. Someone who would have coffee with me- any time of day.

I once was told that I live on a cloud, and that I need to be more in touch with my reality, but I exist in an entirely different world. I mean, I am at the office right now, but in my head, I am at the beach- and there is no oil and no oil spill- and the sun is shining and the waves are singing to me. I have a book in my hands and it is keeping me company. I can feel the tanlines forming.

“I hope that someday, somebody wants to hold you for twenty minutes straight, and that’s all they do. They don’t pull away. They don’t look at your face, they don’t try to kiss you. All they do is wrap you up in their arms, without an ounce of selfishness in it.” — Waitress (here)



And a little love could help. Actually, we all deserve a lot of love, and I won't accept anything but! I do have a lot of love around me- love from myself, love from my family and love from my friends. I also choose to believe the universe loves me.

My cousin's wedding went great, but I don't have photos yet. My other cousin's wedding is on the 15th of July- my brother turns 9 on that very same day. Remember my February women post? I will have one up for my July men. My late grandfather, my brother, my second cousin, my good friend and (my ex)

I need a muse.

In case anyone missed this, here's a link.

My Unintended

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I am loved. I know I am loved. I was blessed by a lot of people in my life. By their mere existence and it makes me thankful every day. Sometimes I forget, but I am faced with constant reminders and I verbalize that thankfulness. So this is a thank you for each and everyone I know. Every person that has touched me in a way- and a lot of people have. I love you.

My cousin's wedding is today. I will post pictures. I'm sure she's going to look beautiful! Happy Summer, everyone!

Sometimes a person looks at you in a way, or talks to you in a way- or even touches your soul in a way; gentle and soft..


And they might not even notice it.
But you can’t help but realize (and feel like) there’s this tiny corner of their heart- as tiny as a particle, even- that feels love for you.

And in that moment, you know you are loved.

Yours truely

On feelings and best friend(s)

“Love is a temporary madness; it erupts like volcanoes and then subsides. And when it subsides you have to make a decision. You have to work out whether your roots have so entwined together that it is inconceivable that you should ever part. Because this is what love is. Love is not breathlessness, it is not excitement, it is not the promulgation of eternal passion. That is just being in love, which any fool can do. Love itself is what is left over when being in love has burned away, and this is both an art and a fortunate accident. Those that truly love have roots that grow towards each other underground, and when all the pretty blossoms have fallen from their branches, they find that they are one tree and not two.” — Louis de Bernieres


That explains it all- it does!

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I have no idea how I feel about today. Tomorrow is my cousin's bachelorette party and I have no idea what to wear..I don’t want the week to start yet. I am not in the mood for work. I don’t think I am in the mood for much other than just relaxing, looking at beautiful things and listening to good music.
I was reminded by what was our song. It felt like a milder version of what it feels like when I remember my grandfather.

Guess who is going shopping? I am! And it’s not half as exciting as it should be. Blame it on the PMS. Plus the fact that I woke up with that feeling that someone is not ok. Does anyone have any idea what I am talking about? It’s a gut feeling…or my sixth sense and it didn’t feel good. So shopping therapy it is! With the best friend and the cousin.

Speaking of my best friend, I met this girl yesterday, who knows us both, but hasn’t seen us for ages- or at least me, and for a second, she thought I was her. Mind you, my best friend and I have skin tones that are far from similar- that’s for one. But we tend to have something about us that would remind you of the other. I love you.

And Some People Dance

I was just watching "The Curious Case of Benjamin Button" - which never fails to inspire me and make me cry.

It just hit me that I have 348 followers, of which I don't know how many actually read my blog...but I just appreciate it so much. And it's overwhelming. It is.

"Some people were born to sit by a river. Some get struck by lightning. Some have an ear for music. Some are artists. Some swim. Some know buttons. Some know Shakespeare. Some are mothers. And some people — dance. " - The Curious Case of Benjamin Button

What was I born to do? What were you born to do? When did you know....are we to ever know?
Sarah Von posted this and I am in love!



I am in such a good mood and I love this world. I love this country, too. Depite my sinuses...and regardless of the brutality in this country- it will all be okay. I promise. Because we all deserve better days.

TGIT

So it's Thank God It's Thursday where I am from! It's the weekend and I couldn't have felt better about it. Today and yesterday were rather hectic at work and I definitely need the time to relax a bit. Am I much of a weird person for my lack of World Cup excitement? I mean, I am happy I am on the same continent and everything, I don't hate the Shakira song, and all that, but I am just not...excited per se.

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Anyway, so back to it being the weekend - I feel lonely sometimes, and it hit me hard yesterday, it hit me so hard and I cried in the shower, I don't know how hard I cried, but it felt bad. I realized that there is no special person to listen to all sorts of nonsense I have to say (which is most of the time) or tolerate my constant nagging and complaining when I am having a bad day. And then came my good friend (who I was complaining to, as usual) and told me that he listens. He made me smile. Thank you for always being there.

It was my cousin's birthday on Tuesday (the one who called to tell me he loves me). He turned 22 and will be as old as I am until I turn 23 in August. Turning 23, in itself, is a bit freaky...since it brings back Jim Carrey's the number 23.

Being my random self, I have to mention one last thing: I took a nap today when I came home, and woke up in the worst mood ever! Belonging to a noisy house didn't help much, so I had to get out of there. So I passed by my other cousin's house, and we go grap coffee and park the car and read GMH stories in the car. End result: two girls with smiles on their faces!

Things I am thankful for today: Great friends, my cousins and my blackberry, oh and my dad and I arguing about subsidies and macroeconomics AS USUAL! (my dad is an anaesthetist)

On having a good day

Today my cousin called me to tell me that he loves me. He made my day honestly.

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I am surrounded by beautiful peopl- at work, my family and my friends (blogger friends included!). I am thankful and grateful!

Yesterday, my best friend and I had those heart-shaped shades on, she had a pink pair on, and I had a purple pair- that made me giggle. And it was fun!

I think it's our refusal to grow up that keeps us fun? I mean, the capability and ability to have fun tends to diminish as you grow older, or so I thought...and maybe still think.

I took a nap wishing so hard for something to happen, and guess what? I woke up to it happening!
That, too, made my day!

I don't know why but blogger wouldn't let me add any more photos to this post, and I am a bit sleepy to be persistant..Do you have any questions for me? And have you checked my tumblr?

I feel like I need inspiration this week, and so, I have decided not to go to work tomorrow and actually enjoy the day, and be out in the sun. And have coffee while not being in a rush. And actually have a proper breakfast!

Wessam

This handsome boy here is my really good friend Wessam. Wessam left to London and I wasn't able to see him before he left...

I miss you Wessam!

I hope you are doing okay and that London is not too gloomy. I don't know if you're homesick, but I (and everyone, I guess) here am/is Wessam sick :)

Send Wessam some love and better yet, contact him if you're in London. Oh and dear Miss Walrus, call me! (I changed my number)

On Loneliness

I am entirely dedicated to the long road today, since my boss is not here! It's the weekend! I can't be any happier- in fact, I have to thank this week for passing by so quickly.

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So the bb service is being naughty...I hate it, since it's the only way I can keep myself busy. And because I am at that point when I really need attention. I honestly and entirely need uhmm..male attention. Nothing in specific, just a random how are you, or how have you been. Just the "are you okay?" in passing...And no, I am not one who would misinterpret that kind of thing...

I just want to know that people out there in the world still care.
That friends are still friends as I know them.

True and honest and caring.

I just need to know that the world still is a great place, with butterflies and sunshine and the random cotton candy cloud..

I am not desperate for attention, I just need a hug. A friendly, warm, caring hug!

"And the warmth inside their eyes would synchronize into a love you've never known" - Regina, I love you!

Lonliness, much?

...

Sometimes I feel like a nerd. Or a geek. Or something of that sort.
When I want to go to Paris for Shakespeare and Co. and to Purtugal for the Royal Purtugese Reading Room...what does that make me?

Anyway, I have been away and I owe you an explanation- I guess...or maybe I just want to vent. I need to.
Something and someone and a cornerstone of my life...a huge someone/something is no longer there....for the past three years...gone. Poof!

I did it and for that, I am the one who has to deal with it- I am keeping to myself, I guess you can guess what happened but oh well!

On a much brighter note, I am very excited for my cousin who is getting married on the 22nd, my boss who is getting married in two days!! And that the summer is here- despite the sandstorm outside...and regardless of the political instability that's taking the world by a storm...(I also have a cold!)

It's not really my week this week...and I feel like it's me against the world type of thing. And it's sad.