What my Twenties Have Taught Me (So Far)

As seen on: Fairytales are True

I am turning twenty-five in a few months (in August) and I can't believe it to be honest. But here's a list of things I have learnt so far!

here

• Yes, we are still so young. People who choose to get married and have children now do so because they want to, not because they have to. And I respect their choice.

• You don't have to dye your hair in order to hide grey hair, you can get highlights/low lights; grey hair would blend in (not so) perfectly. It keeps my hair relatively healthier compared to when I dye it.

• That I can work and do my masters and graduate with high honors (granted, my job at the time wasn't so demanding) but I did it nonetheless, and I am proud of myself.

• Little brothers and sisters grow up so fast. Make time for them, because they do grow quickly, without you noticing. (I started doing so recently as I started noticing my almost 11 year old brother is as tall as I am, I also found out his shoes now fit me.)

• Whether or not they express it, your parents are proud of you. The arguments happen only because they miss their little baby. (You will always be their little baby) I live with my parents, and they sometimes find it hard to accept that I now have a life of my own. My dad even got offended once when I said I buy everything for myself (and don't really need any money from him)

• Only go to weddings you don't want to miss. Not every wedding you are invited to would matter. There will come a time when everyone you know is getting married (now) - ONLY attend the weddings of those you truly care about. Because, I don't want to buy new dresses and I also don't want to feel burdened during someone's wedding when this is their big day, you know? I don't want to be the source of negative energy.

• Jump on the bed. Just like you used to 20 years ago. It always makes me feel so fresh and carefree.

• Listen to your grandmother's story(s), the million times she tells it (them). I do it with a smile on my face. (as I text the boyfriend to complain when I get bored)

• Good friends last. I still talk to friends I made in middle school, and maybe two out of the ones I made during my undergraduate years. I made GREAT friends at my old job, and those are people I truly care for and miss so much. Then there are the friends you just find. These should last you a long while.

• Avoiding the mall altogether is the best way to save money. I now only go shopping when I need something. Window shopping never works for me, I always end up buying things that I don't necessarily need.

• If you are going to pay money for a service, it has to be good. Don't accept something that is sub-par when you are paying for it. Accepting something that is not up to par is a waste of money you will miss by the end of the month.

• It is perfectly normal, and advisable even, to totally freak out when you realise you have been in your comfort zone for too long. Step outside your comfort zone, it's the only way for people to grow. When I realised I stopped learning at my old job, it started to get me depressed, I would leave the office everyday feeling down, after the revolution, it was impossible for someone to find a job, I started applying to different jobs, and resigned before I was sure I was going to find one. It was a risk that I took, and I am so thankful I did.

• Always have a pen and paper with you. Nothing beats pen and paper.

• Women really do mature before men, or at least more quickly. I don't know why or how, I don't know if this is sexist of me to say. But, it is mostly true. And I am beginning to notice it more and more now. A twenty-four year old woman is mostly more mature than a twenty-four year old man.

• The older I am, the younger everyone else looks. (they are a bit annoying, too) I hope to God I wasn't half as annoying as I find 16-18 year olds today.

• Hanging out with a young crowd every now and then is great! Not the annoying ones. The talented ones who inspire you, who make you have faith in "that generation" (I just made myself sound SO old) but you know what I mean, right? I am thankful to have found that group of people who give me hope and faith in humanity, who just remind me that age is just a number, essentially.
• Sometimes, it is better to think before you speak, spontaneity isn't always a good thing. ESPECIALLY during an argument, when I am PMSing and when I am really, really angry. My dad (only recently) taught me that the more you care about someone, the more you need to think about what you are about to say. (I don't necessarily agree, but I shall try)

• It is time for you to give up on a relationship - or give up in general -  when you find yourself asking "why am I doing this to myself?"

• Never, EVER, tell anyone you hate them. Hate is a big, bad, hurtful word. It's a consuming feeling - never hate anyone. You can dislike people, just don't hate them. When my sister and I were little kids, we argued and each ended up telling the other that she hates her, my mum put us in her car and drove halfway to my paternal grandmother's house (an hour away) saying "I will not accept or submit to having children who use the word "hate"..." I think that was around 18-20 years ago, and I still remember it very clearly. We ended up aplogizing and my mum took us home, my sister and I are closer than we realise now (I have two sisters and a brother, this story is about my sister who is 18 months younger than I am) I cheated a bit, this one here is something I learnt before twenty, but have come to appreciate even more in my twenties.

Making Memories out of Pain

The past will always be with you, no matter how hard you try to let it go, it shall forever remain with you. Yet, one is free to choose - to decide - how they want that companion, the past, to be like.

Your past can be your memories..
(sweet nostalgia)

Your past can be your pain..
(a heavy heart)

I am not trying to tell you what to do, I am only trying to tell you what I have done. Maybe I was right, but maybe I wasn't. (which is usually the case)

Life has been good to me, but I only think so because I want to. A lot of people might have hated their lives by now had they been in my shoes, but life threw my way one learning experience after the other, and I accepted the challenge to learn.

And so it was.

Taken by me. Instragram username: Kikiesque

I have ruined so many good things in my life, but that has only taught me that you don't realize how good/bad something/someone is/was for you unless you spend some time with your own self.

I learnt that change is never a bad thing, that being in your comfort zone for too long is never good for you. I have learnt that being selfish at times doesn't have to always be perceived negatively.

I hurt a person, a lot, repeatedly, in so many different ways, I also did some not-so-responsible things.
I did some things that only felt good at the time, knowing that, most likely, no good will come out of them. But these things made me happy. They made me smile, and yes, I did go through a bit of trouble afterwards, but I would never regret doing any of these things.

I now remember every single memory with a smile. (and a bit of thought)

This, this right here, is the difference between memories you have made peace with, and residual pain; pain left over from a past you still haven't made peace with..

I regard those memories as unfinished stories that would have taken me on a totally different path in life, and I wonder about the person I would have been and where that person would be. That does not mean I am not happy where I am now, today...here, because I am! But it helps strengthen the realization, it makes it more concrete, when I think of the alternatives and realize I wouldn't prefer any; I like it where I am.

I hope everyone could reach that. I hope you are where you want to be, because you are definitely where you are meant to be.
(I hope everyone is in a constant state of learning, and I hope that everyone steps away from their comfort zone every once in a while. It's good for you.)

One day, I will write those unfinished stories, and one day, I shall finish them on paper not knowing how far from reality my musings are. No one will ever know, and that's the beauty of it all.

Birthday Wishes

I just wanted to wish a very special person a happy birthday.

here

Happy Birthday, Taylor!

Taylor, thank you for being ever so inspiring. Thank you for being such a colorful person. Have a great, great birthday!

April Wedding #1

One of the closest people to me got married on Sunday. I cannot begin to describe how it feels. It is one thing to attend a friend's wedding, it is another thing to attend a cousin's wedding...but it is entirely and totally different to attend a (very) dear person/cousin's wedding.

Her dress was beautiful! (I helped her get dressed)

I mean, I hadn't even realized it. This is someone I share so many memories with. And her wedding was another big, shiny memory that I have managed to add to a long list of fun-filled memories.

(Well, apart from the fact that I felt all grown up, and that I was too busy helping her out that I forgot to wear mascara, and the possibility of a scar that I have on my right foot for having had my leg stuck on a step)

I wrote all that which I have written between parentheses with a smile on my face.

PS. I, like most other android users, now have instagram! My username is kikiesque, let's be friends?

PPS I have three more weddings to attend this month, hence, the title.

Who are You?

I don't think I recognize the person I have become. I don't know who I am anymore.
I have been sick in bed for the past 4 days. Ever since I came back from Tunisia (yes, I was in Tunisia for 6 days, I will post about that later - the country is BEAUTIFUL)

Those who have known me for over 10 years (that's only one person really, the one person I am still close with) know that I shouldn't spend too much time alone. When I spend time alone, this gives me a chance to think and when I think, the outcome is never, ever good. It's usually twisted, and more often than not, far, far, far from reality.

Outcome: Huge argument with the boyfriend.

Anyway. Back to me. I honestly don't know this person sitting here typing this post. Because the person I knew to be me used to read a lot, used to write a lot...she used to cook. And she used to work out.

And all these things are things I no longer do. I no longer have it in me to do them, or maybe, I just no longer have the time to do them. I thought that as soon as I finish my master's degree, I'll have time to do whatever it is I wanted to do, but now that I work with the Germans, I barely have time to do anything. I am not complaining really, it's a very fulfilling job, but...you know?

Meet my little friend here, she's been keeping me company:

Made from organic Egyptian cotton, (the fabric is dyed with natural dye!)