Thursday, April 19, 2012

Making Memories out of Pain

The past will always be with you, no matter how hard you try to let it go, it shall forever remain with you. Yet, one is free to choose - to decide - how they want that companion, the past, to be like.

Your past can be your memories..
(sweet nostalgia)

Your past can be your pain..
(a heavy heart)

I am not trying to tell you what to do, I am only trying to tell you what I have done. Maybe I was right, but maybe I wasn't. (which is usually the case)

Life has been good to me, but I only think so because I want to. A lot of people might have hated their lives by now had they been in my shoes, but life threw my way one learning experience after the other, and I accepted the challenge to learn.

And so it was.

Taken by me. Instragram username: Kikiesque

I have ruined so many good things in my life, but that has only taught me that you don't realize how good/bad something/someone is/was for you unless you spend some time with your own self.

I learnt that change is never a bad thing, that being in your comfort zone for too long is never good for you. I have learnt that being selfish at times doesn't have to always be perceived negatively.

I hurt a person, a lot, repeatedly, in so many different ways, I also did some not-so-responsible things.
I did some things that only felt good at the time, knowing that, most likely, no good will come out of them. But these things made me happy. They made me smile, and yes, I did go through a bit of trouble afterwards, but I would never regret doing any of these things.

I now remember every single memory with a smile. (and a bit of thought)

This, this right here, is the difference between memories you have made peace with, and residual pain; pain left over from a past you still haven't made peace with..

I regard those memories as unfinished stories that would have taken me on a totally different path in life, and I wonder about the person I would have been and where that person would be. That does not mean I am not happy where I am now,, because I am! But it helps strengthen the realization, it makes it more concrete, when I think of the alternatives and realize I wouldn't prefer any; I like it where I am.

I hope everyone could reach that. I hope you are where you want to be, because you are definitely where you are meant to be.
(I hope everyone is in a constant state of learning, and I hope that everyone steps away from their comfort zone every once in a while. It's good for you.)

One day, I will write those unfinished stories, and one day, I shall finish them on paper not knowing how far from reality my musings are. No one will ever know, and that's the beauty of it all.


lindsey marie said...

This post is beautiful and exactly what I needed to read right now.

Thank you :]

Angie said...

good article ..

i like your spirit just keep it up .. and i do agree with you in many points and i'm doing the same l7l regarding :

1. i believe that the present is tomorrow's past .. so we shd do our best in each day to leave it as a good past carrying good memories ,, and to carry us to a better future ...

2. i like when you admit you have mistakes ,, and you r ok with it just trying to learn something new in your life ..

3. i believe that life is composed of different phases ,, each phase has its own features ,, heroes and even our personality can change from a phase to another which is called "maturity" in most of cases .. but we have to work on that change not to change to a silly dull person :D

4. i like the way you deal with the normal life ups and downs ..

this article sum up the perfect way to grow up and be a mature person by time and not to give life the chance to break us down ..

Dima said...

Beautiful just like you are ! I really miss you :)

pilgrimchick said...

This is very insightful, and I think everyone can relate to it. We all have memories we need to make peace with. Sometimes, that is quite a challenge.

Sarah Yehia AKA Sou said...

This is totally and utterly correct if only people sometimes realize who big of a burden they put over their shoulders through not letting go it would be a scary thought. I believe that past is sort of like the abyss and you know they say about that, that the longer you stare into the abyss the longer the abyss will stare back at you. We should learn from it and move on. Take away the bitter sweet parts and I would not say forget about the scars but wear them proudly till they do not hurt any more and that they are simply your reminder to how far you have gone and how much you have accomplished even if you do not feel like it. Its important to remember that you at the very least survived those scars.