Reminder

And I have missed this place.

My semester has started and I had registered (before the entire revolution/uprising) for a soc "Modern Social Movements" class and econ "Project Evaluation" and then it all happened...

And I think my sociology class could never have been more interesting.

No, I won't write about the uprising again, or maybe not this time...

here

Because I need some "me" time. I don't think I have had time for myself in the past year, and it has affected me in so many ways...it has affected how I see myself and my relevance within my circle, my world...

Because people evolve, yet some people will never change, and they will have the same binding thoughts and worries and they will never grow, why? because they don't know who they are and where they belong and why they are here. And the fact that they are here is in itself a good enough reason...a good enough answer to the eternal question of "why am I here?"

I refuse to be one of those people.

I have let myself slip, I let go, somehow and suddenly, I realise it, or not...suddenly, it was pointed out to me and it was such a shock.. It was a shock to me that who I thought I was/am and who people think I am are two different people, my self awareness was just no longer there..

I matter. I matter because I exist and I have a voice, and I have a mind that thinks brilliantly, and so does everyone else. That, I should never forget. Everyone has a voice, and opinion and a thought and everyone deserves to be heard and listened to.

It is exhausting as I write this, and I don't feel like proof reading... I hope I am not spreading negative energy through this post, but I felt I needed the reminder.

Guest Post

Today: Please read my guest post over at Priya's blog. Who was very kind to have asked me to take part in a series about what love is. Love, to me, is unconditional.

I hope you enjoy it and please do share thoughts!

Blanks!

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1.   I am       infinite. I am first born and a first grandchild (spoilt). in love, patriotic, Muslim..I am also short .

2.  The bravest thing I've ever done was    drive around after military curfew  .

3.  I feel prettiest when       I'd just worked out and when I dress up (rarely)    .

4.  Something that keeps me awake at night is   twitter and if I have an important deadline approaching    .

5.  My favorite meal in the entire world is     sushi! or stuffed vine leaves  .

6.  The way to my heart is        attentiveness and actually listening    .

7.  I would like to       be part of drafting a new constitution for my country, or part of a civic awareness campaign      .

Because I haven't done Lauren's fill-in-the-blanks in a while. And because I have been blogging too much about Egypt and the revolution and I needed a break. Have you seen the wiki? I love it.

I honestly hope that everyone in the Greater Middle East is safe from government brutality. (Yemen, Bahrain, Libya, Iran, Algeria) And I specifically mean someone but I won't mention names. I really hope you are fine- I really do.

Today, I go back to normalcy: back to the gym!

The Winning Square

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Tahrir square was a joyful place, a peaceful place. You go in and you instantly smile.
On the 11th of February, a 30 year old rule has ended, and an uprising succeeded. We won. We are the champions. We are, at least that was the song playing through my head as I screamed and jumped and laughed and cried all at the same time as soon as Omar Soleiman delivered the news on television.

It was divine.

On Saturday, I woke up with a smile on my face, a lightness of heart and being, it was beautiful! I was free! My country was free! He finally left...
Everyone went to Tahrir to clean the square, and you could see freedom. You could touch it and taste it and breathe it in the air, you could feel it hug you.

Articles: here and here
Among the crowds, a lovely lady I had locked eyes with seconds earlier stopped me asking me if I was Sara, she said she follows my blog, and I couldn't stop smiling. I just couldn't and it felt amazing in that overwhelming way.

I felt so....happy, so happy that I make someone smile, happy that I inspire someone- because...this is all I want- to make someone smile. I don't know if she would want me to name her, but thank you, you made my day. You were like a good omen on an already beautiful day. Our first day of freedom.

Valentine's Day:


I hope everyone had a beautiful Valentine's day. I sure did. It was special in its simplicity. Boyfriend and I helped deliver a gift, and we were stuck in traffic for a good portion of the day, which was fun. Then we had dinner. And guess what he got me!! an iPod!! (Yes, he's the best)

He's the best because we can be silly together, among other things. We can be serious, too. He's the best because he gives the best hugs ever.

we did it!

WE DID IT!! Our revolution was successful!

While We Wait

The day Wael Ghonim finally surfaced (state security had detained him, more like kidnapped him) he was interviewed on one of the channels (Dream 2) and he rekindled the strength of the entire generation, if not the entire nation. He made us all cry...

That was a Monday night, on Tuesday, everyone went to Tahrir, it was insanely crowded, beautifully so, though.

(My parents only stopped me from going on that day I mentioned in the post before this one, after which I went once, and it was depressing in the sense that it has turned into a festival and not a protest, it was Woodstock-esque, which is not bad but I sensed that the spirit was dying out...it was that night that Ghonim showed up)

Tuesday was beautiful. Pure and beautiful. I freaked out a bit and kind of fainted because of the huge numbers, boyfriend and best friend were there to the rescue, and people somehow made way for us so I could sit and breathe and everyone was so kind.

It is true that Tahrir square is the Egypt we all dream of, one where we would coexist and where people randomly start singing and paint and write poetry. An Egypt where people clean the streets and smile, it is beautiful in that revolutionary sense.

I worry for my country, because we need a blueprint, a plan...anything.

I wrote this this morning, now we are waiting for President Mubarak to give a speech...no one knows what he's going to say..but we've heard rumors.

Praying.

Egypt.

Remember the post my friend posted for me on Friday?
You have no idea...
The amount of fear that possessed me that day, to cut a long story short, I submitted to my fear. I watched the protests from a distance, I saw this in the video as it happened, and the tear gas reached us.



It was heart breaking seeing the riot police being so brutal, a lot of people were killed that day, and even more were injured. And detained. From that Friday (the 28th of January) onwards we had no internet connectivity until I posted I was back. We had no cell phone coverage as well, we had to resort to using landlines. There was a curfew enforced. And a new government/cabinet.

A curfew.


Out of the ten days (So far) of protests, I only went three times, but I still consider those in Tahrir "us". I feel proud. I feel very proud.

The vigilantes help us feel safe after curfew, since the police forces are no longer on the streets, the army people are so friendly. So very friendly. And they actually smile back.

People usually harass you on the streets, but on Tuesday (the first) during the Million Man March, a million people in Tahrir, people standing so close, no one touched me inappropriately, or looked at me in such a way, or verbally harassed me or anything. The youth; my generation. RESPECT.

Yet, on Wednesday, "they" hired thugs to stage a pro-Mubarak protest, and they started the violence against those in Tahrir throwing stones, metal objects, storming among the crowds ON HORSES AND CAMELS carrying knives and so on. I wasn't there that day but my best friend was...more people died...

And then emerged the makeshift hospital. The next day people were taking supplies to the hospital and to the people in the square, two of my friends were attacked and "taken" but are now back...

And today was as peaceful as Tuesday, January the 25th. Or so they say- everyone I know went, or almost, but I was deprived my right to go. My right to protest, by my very own parents. I cried when I got the call from there, I felt so bad, so envious...I wanted to be there...

Because you don't understand...The amount of love I have for this country has no limits, I could die for Egypt, especially now; now that I know that it won't be in vain. My generation is making history and for that I am so proud. My generation is that of real men and strong women. And we made history, like patriots should when faced with oppression.

The beautiful thing about it is that Egyptians still find humor in the situation. My people are beautiful people.

Right now, I think we're in the process of bargaining. A wisdom committee was formed, and a general conflict of interests, like with every uprising, I suppose, no set of demands has been agreed upon yet...and with every day that passes, it becomes, personally, more depressing.

I pray for an absence of a deadlock, because that's the last thing we need. Oh God, please.

I am sorry if this is fragmented, my thoughts are all fragmented at the moment. Please pray for my country. And I cannot begin to thank you for your concern and prayers and comments, honestly and truthfully.

You make me smile. My people make me smile. My friends, family and boyfriend all make me smile.

back..

It's me. I cannot begin to explain how thankful I am for everything. 

I will take time to breathe and then post properly.

I LOVE YOU.