Sara's friend once more.

I wish I had good news, but I don't.

At least so far I don't have bad news.

Have been unable to contact anyone in Egypt lately, so I have no clue if she's ok or not.

But hopefully she's ok.

Praying and fingers crossed.

Don't mean to alarm you, hopefully all is alright. 

Sara's friend once again.

Not much to report this time, Checked a few hours ago, and she's fine.

Situation is more stable now thanks to Vigilantes.

The Youth control the streets.

Sara's Friend again.

I've managed to confirm that as of now (9 Pm Egypt time, 2pm eastern) That Sara is home safe.

However the country is in shambles.

Government thugs are roaming the streets looting and burning, Neighborhood watch groups are organizing to protect against the thugs, The Army is supposedly trying to help, but is spread thin.

Keep up whatever you're doing to help, and I pray that the next post will be by Sara herself.

Sara's friend again.

I'm Sara's friend, It's been over 24 hours since I was last in contact with her. I have not been able to reach her since.

She asked me to post in case anything happened to her, but I don't even know if something happened to her. I have no clue if she was arrested, If she was hurt.... I have no real clue. I've tried everything to contact her, and failed miserably.

And it's driving me insane.

I do not think I have EVER been as worried as I am now.

I've been keeping up with the news and have been extremely active on twitter, and what I've seen so far was extremely hopeful, what might come next seems to most likely be extremely desolate. All signs point that the Regime is planning something ... disastrous.

I hope I'm wrong. I really do. I hope the next few days are as hopeful as what has come to pass already.

I ask you all to pray for her & the rest of the Egyptians, Pressure your governments , Call your senators, Harass the media, spread the word, do anything you can, even if it's something as simple as hoping they're all well.

Hopefully the next post will be by Sara herself, Doesn't seem likely, but we can always hope, can't we?

If she doesn't post again in the next 24 hours, I'll update you once more.

I pray that I don't have to.

Just in case anything happens

Note: I am posting this on behalf of Sara. They (Egypt) is on complete communication lock-down at the moment and blocked off from the rest of the world. I was supposed to post this at 10Am Egypt time, but since my connection is under attack, I thought it would be better to get this out asap. Pray for them. Pray for all of Us. If i find out anything and need to post it, with her blessing i will, provided my connection holds up.
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I am beginning to freak out. I am going to do this. I am going to do this. I am going to do this.

I am.

For the future me to not hate me…For my country..For my brother and for my family… For everyone. I am only one among thousands, in hopes of reaching a million Egyptians.

Everyone is advising me against it. But I want to do it. I can hear the sirens outside, and my brother is randomly hugging me, telling me he's worried and concerned. My grandmother is acting all weird. My mother went to bed, and my dad is being sarcastic. I went to the supermarket for "supplies". I will be fine, right?

My fingertips are cold. People keep saying that the CS will have no mercy as ordered by the Ministry of Interior; they have started blocking websites already. And internet and cell phone providers are giving up on the Egyptians. 

I know this all sounds exaggerated but...I am scared. And I feel like it's my duty to go to the protest tomorrow. I got a very touching email today from a friend and a sister from another country, and I know she might not want me to name her, but you know who you are. I cried. I love you, too.

I love everyone on here how has touched me. Everyone has in so many ways. I love you Liz, and Shokoofeh, and Taylor and Maria-Thérèse... and everyone really.

And, Dr. Abdel Aziz Ezz El Arab, thank you for making me believe that anything is possible, that everything is possible. Thank you for making me believe in myself (Again, and again, and again)

I also cannot begin to explain the amount of love I have for my family BOTH my sisters, yes, I love you, too Sondos. And Salma, for we have been through everything together throughout our lives. Everything…And my brother, I do everything for my brother; I love him beyond words, beyond everything imaginable. He is my little baby, I have raised him and I am so proud to be this little brat's eldest sister. I love you Saeed.

And my parents, I love both my parents even though my mum might think otherwise. I owe everything I am to my parents and Said (my late grandfather) and Nana my grandmother. Pappy, I am thankful for everything you are and everything you have done for me and you too, Mummy. I am just scared they would take me and keep me for a bit, that's all. I am not going to die or anything. They're not going to shoot at us, right?

I love you, too countless cousins, all of you, really. And Menna, it’s safe to say you are the best friend I have ever had. And everyone I called my best friend along the years. (Yes, Sondos F, you too.) And Sara Abdel Azim, and Yasmine Khalil, and Sherine Mohammed) Amr Galal and Hayek, I don't think I need words, for you know how much you mean to me. I am not dying or anything, that's only in case they take me.

Azul, I miss you and I love you.

Ahmed. Well, you'll be with me tomorrow, right? Thank you for finding me. Twitter is helping with the protests and it was the reason for our existence.

I am doing this for my country, my own world. My own country, my Nile and my Red Sea, my Alexandria, too. This is for everyone who lost their lives on the bad roads, and due to depression, for everyone who lost their lives as a result of police brutality. My you all rest in peace.

This is for the hope for change.

This is for Iran. Maybe, this time we'll make it work.

Yes, this maybe a bit too exaggerated, but I feel better now that I have written it. At least, now, just in case anything happens, and they take me, you will know. Everyone will know. I will give my password to a friend, to let you know if they take me. If they take me, or anyone I know, please contact them.

On Tahrir

Yesterday we went to Tahrir square.
Yesterday we shook the square with our voices. And oh how great it felt to listen to the voices echo through the streets.

The blocked twitter.
I don't see why they would do that, I mean, we are all for freedom of expression and transparency and....why? Because it's the government of Egypt, that's why..

Realtime  results, however, are helpful, thank you google.
These photos are amazing, at night there were more people. Also, the videos are everywhere.
And the articles include this, this, this and this

My sister had gone to Shobra, and they attacked them (central security did) but my sister was fine. My best friend went through Kasr el Eini on her way to Tahrir, and they also attacked them, my best friend was fine.

My boyfriend, his sister, and friends and I walked across Kar El Nil bridge to Tahrir, and they wouldn't let us walk through but we managed, and we were on the side walk and somehow I started crying, because I wanted to be on the street, I wanted to be with the rest of the people. I saw Wessam, and joined him, and his friends, then I found my best friend and her boyfriend.

I saw glimpses of my boyfriend, twice before they started the tear gas, and before the network coverage was cut off. The best thing I had done was let my parents know where I was, after I had left the house.

I love my country. And I have never witnessed something as big. I am happy I went, I would go again. For myself, for the country and for my brother and people his age. I would go again so that when I stand in front of the mirror and ask myself  "What have you done?" I would say that I have tried, I would know that I have tried. And with trying comes the possibility of success. That is all that matters.

Today it's much more violent, more police everywhere, and it's crazy. Detaining a lot more people. A lot more people. I didn't go today, I was advised against it, by a much more experienced person. So I didn't go. I feel bad for not going, but I fear for my parents- they would hate for anything to happen to me.

Mass protests are going out on Friday. Also, you have to check this.

I Still Remember

here

Have I forgotten?

I might have.

Yesterday, I spent time with my family, all of them; my father told me a story from when I was three. I am surprised I remembered. He had found this dove (I used the word because it's poetic) in his car trunk, long long ago when he was doing his PhD. He fed her and took care of her, he would feed her every morning before he started studying and the quality time we would spend with him (my sister was 36 months at the time) was when he would let the dove fly across the street and come back to stand on his shoulder. I remember the exact moment.

I remember it...and that is probably the earliest memory I have of my father.

No, I did not forget.

"There's someone who paints the sky, with their eyes, each day, every way.” I Wrote This For You

I want to paint the sky, with the colours of the sunset, and those of the sunrise. I want to watch them paint the sky, at least. I miss watching the sky change its colors, and I miss having all the changes reflect on the sea.
Do I envy you? I guess I do.
I want to read again, and write again, I want to sit in a garden and laugh so loud, so much that my head hurts.

My Eyes

here

Today I realised this blog has documented a lot about me.
On the 17th of January of 2003, my grandfather passed away, and I have written about it before. And I am dealing with it in a different way this year; eight years later.

I have learnt to deal with loss, and I have learnt that no matter how you idolise a person, this doesn't make them less human, this doesn't make them perfect- only perfect in your eyes.

To me, my eyes are all that matter.
To me, my grandfather was the greatest grandfather in the world. And that is all that matters.

I miss you, Said.

And She's Back!

I have been busy with my cousin, Jen, who went back to England on Friday; the day it rained, and it hailed, and it was unbelievable. The streets were soaked and it took us almost three hours to get to the airport. As opposed to the usual 40 minutes, it was funny. I had a headache, and spent most of the time sleeping...stupid headache.

But it was funny!

We made it five minutes before the check-in desk was shut, and we had to say our goodbyes really quickly, I cried after I finally went back home, well, because I'll miss Jen.My mum and sisters had sushi after; lots and lots of sushi. It was fun, I don't remember the last time I went out with my sisters and mother.

here

Friday, was the first post-colonial revolution in North Africa. Tunisia. I feel so proud, and hopeful. Compared to Egypt, however, Tunisia is a much smaller country in terms of population, the working age population in Tunisia is around 7 million while in Egypt; 50 million... and all I could listen to was Emel Mathlouthi.

On Thursday, I finally did it. I FINALLY, FINALLY did it. I got a fringe/bangs!! I was so scared, I had wanted to do that for so long. I finally did it, and I got a bit of a trim, because I am trying to grow my hair out.

Yes, that's what I have been up to, and today, I had a talk with the authority's vice president and I couldn't believe how I gave the chance for someone to tell me that I am being pessimistic, I am by far one of the most optimistic people I know. I am optimistic to the extent that I am not realistic, too unrealistic at times, even.

If I get a raise, I might stay. I will create my own learning experiences. One should not wait for opportunities, because we create our own experience and opportunities. Right?

That Which Needed to be Said

I didn't really have any plans for new year's this year, not that I ever really have plans for that day, I usually spend it with my family, or in my room reviewing and reflecting on the year that has passed and setting goals for the year to come. This year I went to bed early, only to wake up to the worst news ever.

Some idiot- some worthless, insane, ignorant idiot decided to kill people.

Some ignorant, backward minded person decided to kill innocent people. To bomb a car near the entrance of a church when people were praying inside. And I know that regardless of what the person thought, or who told him to do it, or anything, there is no way this person is going anywhere but straight to hell.
This Earth knows no justice, or at least this country doesn't, yet there is a deity that wouldn't accept such inhumanity.

I will not mention anything about the sectarianism this has sparked, because generally, the country, the people have grown more passive, more aggressive and more backward minded than ever...close minded, too. Things were as bad, in terms of bombings and attacks based on religion, in the eighties and early nineties, but shouldn't we be going forward?
One thing I don't get is how and why is the minister of interior still in office...I really, really don't get it. But then again there is a lot of things that I will never get about this country.

I also don't get why Egyptians should need protection among fellow Egyptians, I don't get how someone should need intensified security within the borders of their own country.
This is heartbreaking.
It is also heartbreaking that you get little children asking each other in the playground whether they are Christian or Muslim. This is sad. So very sad. We are going through a process of social retardation. Social and state retardation.

And you wonder why the well educated leave? Why those who truly care leave? You wonder why those who have a sense of patriotism tend to lose it? You wonder why those who love the country are always let down? You wonder why those who ever wanted to make a change turn into nothing but a figure added to your GNP? And why even the slightest glimpse of hope fades away so easily?

Well, now you know why.

This country broke my heart, and only those you love can break your heart.