Sunday, January 3, 2010

Sometimes, I "write"

I've been having sleeping trouble lately...and I can't get myself to think of/about certain things...
Yesterday I went out with my cousins and stuffed myself full...we also got complimentary dessert. Anyway, I posted this on facebook...and thought I should post it here as well;



In which I fail to rhyme
Encircled in quietude
the comfort in solitude..

In hope for a voice
(a sound)
Familiarity;
of language..
of tone
of tune
of home.

Complex in its primitiveness
Passive
Concrete
Regressive
Discrete

In which I fail to rhyme
A comfort I fail to mime.
You are not me.
(who do you mean?)
by(e) you,
by me.

In which I fail to structure.
To write..
A piece.
(peace)

An eternal tan.
A sun-kissed smile
Eyes tinted with honey
Warm toned and gracious

In which you remind me of me
A moment.
A brief- almost unquestionable encounter

In which I fail to rhyme
(as usual!)
A corner. Ignored.
Dark, damp and delusional.

Any thoughts on that people? I need opinions...it has been a while..It's bright and sunny outside! And the sun feels beautiful on my skin...and at night, the chill is usually as beautiful!

40 comments:

Wessam said...

I decided to be badass today and NOT go to work!! then you post this..

I'm not sure if i feel as badass as i did exactly 5 minutes ago..hehe.

I'm glad did post it though, it is in fact a beautiful day today.

Wessam said...

you did*

Betty said...

I like it, like it a lot. You should write some more and share it here.

DT said...

i like it. write more, post more. i'd love to read

Selma said...

Can I honestly say on here that I absolutely, truly and deeply loved it?! I can?! I just did, didn't I?! The more you write, the brighter they're gonna get. Not saying it isn't bright. It is. Just that it may get brighter each time you write a new one. We can't wait to hear/read more! :D

Maria-Thérèse afiori.com said...

You don't "write". You WRITE. I like this a lot.

Kamana said...

i like! i like!
my favourite bit here:
Encircled in quietude
the comfort in solitude

Barry said...

Sara, I quite like this. I'm glad you chose a freeform style; this is a very introspective piece and it would have lost something if you had adhered to a formal rhyme scheme.

"An eternal tan.
A sun-kissed smile
Eyes tinted with honey
Warm toned and gracious"

In which you remind me of me
A moment.
A brief- almost unquestionable encounter"

I adore these two stanzas, they draw me in. The very last line of this piece is darkly moody, but a nice contrast to the above.

Most importantly this piece stirs something in me, which is what writing should be all about, in my opinion.

Well done.

Nahla said...

yeah i love it too :)

Mika said...

Love this one! Mika (www.mikascrap.typepad.com)

in company with sparkles said...

It's beautiful Sara, and makes one wonder what you're thinking. (but you do share some of that on here)

Shaista said...

Sara, happy new year!! Insha'llah it will be an inspiring year for us all :)
I love the poem, and the irony of appearing to fail to rhyme while rhythmically striking harmony with each verse, each repetition of that line.
Keep writing my friend..

Barry said...

Thanks for your last comment Sara.

I keep an eye on your blog every day, your view of life and yourself intrigues me. I hope you'll continue to write. :)

Ju said...

Happy New Year. It is a lovely poem Sara.
Camomile tea before bed time sometimes helps to clear the mind...

Randi Lee said...

I LOVE it!! And I'm not just saying that... I really REALLY do!

It seems like you're embracing all life has to offer right now, and that you're pulling out of your rut. That's VERY good to see. :-)

April said...

I like your use of parentheses: by(e) you

Gracie said...

Oh my! Your writing is amazing! There is no way I could write the way you do.
I hope you are able to sleep better soon but keep on writing what's on your mind! x

Iva said...

WOW!! you are a WRITER!! ;)

I hope you can sleep more/better soon!! ;) Happy New Year lady!!

defining amy said...

you are so talented. i really enjoyed that. i hope you have been enjoying the holidays. happy new year!!

DT said...

You have been tagged!

Elizabeth Marie said...

You are amazing my dear. That is lovely!!

Jodes said...

"In which I fail to rhyme
A comfort I fail to mime.
You are not me.
(who do you mean?)
by(e) you,
by me. "

perfect.
i am catching up on all your musings and astounded as to how beautiful your wrting and your spirit is, miss.
yes!
my 2010 has been spoiling me so much so far, how about you?
i hope it is because you deserve it!

love&light sweetheart, i missed you!

StuddedLilly said...

nice blog you got here.
and your words are very delightful..
keep it up :)

xo

bananas. said...

oh sara...that is beautiful. i think i'm going to read it again...

Barry said...

Sara, right now in Toronto it's about -12 degrees Celcius with snow.

I'm checking in to see if you'd like to trade weather for a few days. I'll even throw in a scarf and an extra pair of mitts. :)

Caroline Cakewise said...

Your New Year's posts and poetry are so inspiring... I loved your comment about cassette tapes, it's so true - I remember when I was about 9, before ipods etc., sitting by the radio every night and taping songs I liked off the charts... my brother's only 3 years younger than me, but he never did that!
I hope you have a beautiful 2010, you so deserve a lot of magic! xx

lavelle said...

Amazing!!

And happy new year lovely

xxx

Ju said...

Have you slept yet?
I have tagged on my blog, to chose your favorite picture ever... Hope you can chose one.

magnoliaamber said...

dum dum da dada da...

I feel the rhythm:)

chicknamedhermia said...

Oh and just wondering if you could help me out with a new project ….good karma to you! :D http://chicknamedhermia.wordpress.com/2010/01/06/the-giving-my-life-some-purpose-post/

Hanako66 said...

that's beautiful...you are so talented!!

Paulina said...

free dessert? AWESOME!!!


Love your writing, by the way!!!

beautifulnemo said...

always love your writings
:***

Barry said...

I gave you an award on my blog. :)

Kristin said...

That was just beautiful! Eyes tinted with honey...love that!

Athena. said...

this is so wonderful, Sara!
I'm so sorry I haven't been around,
things have been weird, and I've needed time. It makes me smile, you are beautiful, you know?
xxx

Break said...

nice!
keep on doing this and develop your talent :)

Nikolett said...

Mmm, free dessert. And ooo, I love poetry. I love the way you used similar-sounding words (homonyms, right?) and intertwined them ... with by(e) and by and piece, peace. And I find often the most thought-provoking pieces of poetry are often those that don't rhyme :) I'd love it if you could share more!

Stacey Sargent said...

love this poem! This is my favorite part:
An eternal tan.
A sun-kissed smile
Eyes tinted with honey
Warm toned and gracious

chicknamedhermia said...

Thanks for the suggestions!!! The first draft of the list has been posted!