Saturday, July 20, 2013

Silent Film

Do you ever look back on your life and remember certain incidents that you could have made so much more of? (an curse your silly, young mind for not doing what the person you are today would do?)

Is this how we learn?

Because, recently, these moments have been haunting me. Things from years and years ago, and I just can't help but think that if I had said so and so or if I had done this and that, things would have been so much better today. Things would have been very different. I would have been very different.

I don't know what I am doing with my life at the moment. It all feels like a big lull. (one that has lasted too long that my muscles are aching) is happening to me and I am not making it happen. I am not making anything happen, I am just watching it all take place and just....

It's like a silent film with bad actors, for a viewer, it is so hard to understand. And I am but a mere viewer. And I don't understand a single thing.

Words. It is all about words: words you say and words you don't say. But the things with words is, unlike actions, you regret the words you say and the words you don't equally. And it just sucks.

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