Mini-Wishlist

I finally finished writing my "Determinants of Female Employment in the Government Sector in Egypt" paper, or whatever the title was. I don't care, and I am assuming no one else does.

Today we are exactly one month away from my 24th birthday, and I don't really know how I feel about that. Every single birthday I had ever since I turned twenty makes me feel like I am going through a quarter-life crisis. Don't ask, I really don't know why..

I guess it is because this is when I evaluate things, and see where I am at in my life and such. And it just highlights my tendency to forget that each one of us lives their lives at their own pace. Life in no race, if someone gets to where they are before you do, it is never a big deal. Because:

1. You don't necessarily want to be where they are.
2. You are not anyone else.

I have been thinking about what I want for my birthday and I realized I have had this obsession with vintage things for the longest time, and I have never really gotten anything vintage. I mean, I have worn my grandmother's clothes, but that's pretty much it.

I am in love with this dress! It's the perfect shade of blue. here

 I am in love. Here

That's all I have so far!

Love!

I am having a very bad day. Or maybe I am not, I just took a nap and woke up in a really bad mood. I had spend the day in a workshop about some youth survey and its dataset and STATA. Yes, not a good day.

And then, I got an email which made my day basically. From my partner in the Happy Mail Project THANK YOU, Astrid.

here

Then, I started talking to my boyfriend about how I have made so many friends through this tiny space here. I have cried to some, I like to think I have helped some. I have some on BBM (more? email me, and we exchange pins!) I have received gifts from some. Like the great art Maria-Thérèse makes! The photos and WARMTH Shokoofeh's posts spread.


The doodles Missy used to post, and Micaela  and just..omg a lot of you girls!
And Hermia, and how great it was working on Diamond in the Rough

Randi and how Elle came into the world and the wedding, and Micaela's wedding, all of our breakups and new jobs and travels and friends. It is all so beautiful. And Farah! Oh how I am happy for Farah, congratulations, love! And how I felt bad when April did when her summer plans didn't work out.

And this lovely lady right here :)
And Anna! Who doesn't love Anna?

Also, Taylor, because I feel like I have known Taylor forever.

And Liz! I have missed Liz, and when she came to visit and how fun it was.
You are part of why I am happy and I just want you to know that. Always, and I'm not just saying that. I really do mean it.

I hope you are all having a great day :)

PS If you are not mentioned here doesn't mean you are not special, you know? This would include you lovely ladies: you, you, you, you and you!

I'm Alive!

Oh hello, new blogger!!

This is so weird! Has it been that long since I last posted?...yeah. I guess.

But since I am procrastinating and should be writing about the Egyptian labor market, and female participation in the labor force, particularly; why females are over-represented in the government and education sectors....I am going to write a blog post instead!

I found this on Missy's blog (Aren't you glad she's back? I AM!)



1. Mood: Bored, oh so bored, but happy - something happened today (I'll tell you all about that later, when I am ready to)
2. Wearing flip-flops to work: yea or nay? NAY
3. Last outdoor concert you went to? A concert at the Azhar Park where the Lebanese band Mashrou' Leila was performing. I had a GREAT time.
4. I’m secretly terrified of…needles 
5. One day, I’d really like to have nothing to worry about.
6. I’d like to sing a duet with Regina Spektor.
7. Have you ever tried to hide a tattoo with makeup? No tattoos...
8. Things you say/sing to your pet all the time: And no pets..
9. Do like the taste of raw cookie batter? YES YES, OH YES!
10. Weekly goals: Finish my literature review and actually start writing my paper.


I think it's pretty neat, the new editor that we have here. 
I know this is pretty random but bear with me okay? You know the "Hey it's ok" section in Glamour? That's my favorite. And I wanted to do something similar on here, since my life is almost falling apart here.

here

So here it goes:


Hey, it's OK!

1. To not shower after the gym (till the next day) because you just have no time
2. To have eyebrows that look more like a mustache, because, again, you have not time.
3. To not remember when the last time you weren't tired was.
4. To have a cupcake for dinner.
5. To lose count of the cups of coffee you have in a day.

On Being My Own Hero

I have depended on quite a few people in my life. And I have lost them all but a few.
I have lost people to death, to disappointment and to...life, if I may say.

And this is when I taught myself how to be selfish.

My life and plans had always depended on a person or more, but they always revolved around someone that is not me. And then I finally realized that I should be the center of my life, and everything orbits around me. Because this is my life, and I have to make something out of it.

I have had a full time job for 17 months now, and I have slowly gained financial independence (that's not counting my grad school tuition fees that my parents pay..I know) And after a (not so) few heartbreaks, I learnt not to plan ahead, just to have a general, flexible outline, somehow.

So, inspired by mother*, who studied political science and literature and has worked as an English teacher for as long as I can remember (I like to think it was because I was born when she was a graduating senior), in my head, I decided the following:

• If I am ever to get married, I want it to be by the time I am 26 (I, sometimes, believe I will die alone, a lot.)
• I need to finish my PhD before I am 30.
• I never want to live away from my family.
• I want to make a change, and do something for my country.

I don't know when and why - let alone how - that list happened, given that the numbers are somehow random. There's a but. There's always a but! I hate buts..

here

But...things change. And it just makes me lose faith in planning altogether, because I don't believe in near-future-planning, this list is my idea of planning. And even that doesn't seem to work out.

So when I decide that my world revolves around me, and that I am my own hero, something(one) happens and changes everything. I don't know how I feel about that.

Will my life ever be truly mine?

In one month and 22 days, I turn 24 and it is scaring the life out of me. Twenty-four, TWO years away from target age I and SIX years away from target age II. Will I make it? Am I going to?

July is always a scary, scary month.

*My mother got married when she was 20, I was born when she was 22 and she graduated a semester late because of...me.