The Happiness of Random

Maybe I got used to not posting?
I had a good weekend; Mohammed was here and we spent alot (but not enough) time together. He got me "How To Be an Explorer of the World" by Keri Smith!! I am so excited to finally own a copy!! And I am showing it around everywhere to make people happy; it's contagious!

People have been very random recently, or maybe I am the one who has been looking more inviting to conversation?

 

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It started with a conversation in the bathroom with a couple of elderly American women who kept telling me how beautiful Cairo is and how lucky I am to be Egyptian! Then yesterday, this random guy came up to me and my cousin and asked us if it was okay for a 20 year old boy/man to marry a 22 year old girl/woman. It was so funny!
And again today, while I was waiting for two older foriegn men to get out of their car (for me to get into mine) and they appologized to have kept me waiting, they were being really nice and were joking about being old and fat, I wished them a nice day.
All three incidents have made me a lot happier, they, in fact, have made my day in one way or the other.
It just makes me happy to see others happy, to have someone smile at me!
Also, I saw one of my students today while I was picking my brother up from school; THAT TOO MADE ME HAPPY!

Stuff from Jeddah Days(and news!)

I am finally back home. I am happy to be home. I am home!

Last night, Mohammed took me to Beit el Harawy, a house that was first built in 1731 and has been added to and renovated until 1921 when Harawy Bek had left it, to meet a couple of his friends, one of which I don't really know (in person) yet is a very amazing and well known perscussionist; Hany Bedair.

Now, to the stuff I wrote in Jeddah:

• I was reading "The Unbearable Lightness of Being":

I am reading a book that is full of beauty, full of life and betrayal. I am reading a book that is full of new concepts and paradigms and words.
To me new words provide a new dimension to things, just like how a new paradigm gives you a new height, a new place from which to view the world.
I am thinking that maybe I should write all my entries here, in Jeddah as word documents and then post them in retrospect.
Retrospect this is on word I think is beautiful. Even if yearning and silly and is just an invitation to neurotic nostalgia; it still is a beautiful word. Under the influence of the unbearable lightness of being, the word thrusting comes to mind, Thrusting, with the sound that is associated with the word and the rhythm and the power! Thrusting! Thrusting, thrusting!

• Then, I was just not in a good mood:

Once again, it is me against the world, once again I fear the reality of a hardcopy, the harshness of pen and paper in the absence of home.
My fingers are rough against my palm, the tension dense in the air. The tears are lining up, one after the other, along the corners of my eyes.
The days slipped away, and just like that, it is the end of the month- it’s the end of the year… A year I had spent with him, a year I wouldn’t be able to end with him. Now the tears fall, as the date grows: 27, 28, 29... Dave Matthews is crashing as I write, in the background, and in my heart, I crash…but not into anyone, I crash into a wall- who put that wall here?
Who gave you the right to scrutinize my life and put me under that microscope…I am no parasite. I am no micro-organism. I am a human being; complete, composed and my dreams colossal! My spirit is beyond what you would ever be able to see! And no, I wouldn’t allow you to look for yourself, you are going to listen to me, and whether you believe me or not remains your own choice, your own win/lose situation.
Everything is pointing me to that direction; directly or indirectly leading me to the conclusion of what I want to do, yet the decision doesn’t remain mine. It doesn’t. Sometimes, even for the shortest while, I feel weighed down and then I reconsider, I change my view…It is okay, there is no tying down, there is only a little distance that I would force on myself and so, should bear the consequences.

On another level, I got a job! At the Economic Research Forum! I am so happy...! The place is simply an old, pretty villa in Dokki, close to where I went to university. I love it.

If 2008 should end anyway;

If for everytime I think (of you) my heart should sing, I will have composed a symphony by now.
Here is a piece of a little something I wrote last year:

I have one father.
One mother,
One mind,
One soul,
One heart,
I have two bodies.

I have one God.
One firm thought,
One belief,
I have two entities.

The very different people that exist within our being, the existence we are; the one we take so recklessly for granted. We were born to find this world, the miracle it is, ready for us, when we, the helpless human beings we are, were never prepared for it. The surprises and the shocks, the ups and downs, the hopes and their destruction- the menthol-like iciness of birth.
A mother holds her child with care and pride, thinking I helped bring this like into the world, but does she ever think of how she would make this life ready to take this world with a confident heart and a mind that is sure, with a soul that believes?
Instead, we are left to conquer this world unassisted, alone, not in the cold meaning of the word, but rather the independent one. And by independence, I far from mean physical independence, for I (at twenty) am not yet physically independent from my parents, but I have mentally rebelled. I have rebelled.
This is not an invitation to rebel, though, nor is it a call to fight against parental authority, this is a call for change, and not for help, for I have found the one to save me, or rather, help me save myself. Not many of us need to be saved, and even less people need to be found, we are not lost, nor are we in a whirlwind of delusion. We are just distracted. The colorful world, and the bright lights, and the consumerism that has taken over our worlds; I want my coffee, and my book, and I want to achieve this worth-you-envy success when I grow up…all of our basic needs and our greatest aspirations; they have diverted us, and our focus, from the purpose, from our very first and the most defiantly important and longest of all quests we should seek in this life; who are we?

Who am I?
What do I want from this life?
What is my quest?
What am I looking for?
What impact do I want to have?

It leaves me in wonder; do we exist in a series of never ending questions? You answer one question, after so much pondering, nights of contemplation, days of failed attempts to meditate in the Cairo traffic and the thunderous pace of life, and you’re left with a part of the phenomenal creation you are, unveiled.

In our galaxy of a life, there’s always a star, worth of a whole constellation that was placed in your path to guide you. Yet sometimes, just sometimes, we overlook that wondrous star, shining with sincerity, only to come back to our senses, lucky enough to do that before we miss our chance, and hold this star high, regard it high, and treat it like the precious star it is. Because we all deserve to be guided, and we all deserve to answer the questions that bring us to the realization that our existence is remarkable. And that after all, neither of us is yet another face in the crowd.

Happy New Year Everyone!! 

Happy Holidays!

Have a very happy holiday season everyone, even though it is a bit Christmas-ly late..

Jeddah has been nice to me lately.
After having found out there were four fellow AIESECers currently in Jeddah (or rather Alumni, like myself), I met up and spent the day with them and it was actually so much fun!
Then the following day (which was yesterday), my sister got us invited to spend the day with a SAUDI ARABIAN friend of hers. It was actually my first time to meet a Saudi family; will give more details on that later on, nonetheless, it was fun.

I have been tagged by Erin Meagan of SeeYourVoice

The rules are :

1. Go to the 4th folder in your computer where you store your pictures.

2. Pick the 4th picture in that folder.

3. Explain the picture.

4. Tag 4 people to do the same!

The Picture: 

 

I apologize for the poor quality (my connection isn't helping me much)

The Explanation:

This picture was taken Summer of 2007 when my boyfriend and I first got together, in Alexandria, Egypt (this explains part of why I love the city so much). We were driving, and decided to stop and watch the sun setting into the very amazing Meditterenean. We placed the camera on the blocks of rocks behind us and voila!

edit:

Silly me was very excited by the fact that I go tagged, I forgot to tag four other people; so here it is:

1. Afiori
2. Hayek (because I know he has tons of amazing pictures)
3. Inside the Cabinet of Wonder
4. Sidenote:
   

Post 70: An Ode to Alexandria

Inspired by a book, a lot of people, a lot of love and a whole lot of homesickness.

Alexandria,
The city that never sleeps.
Alexandria,
The triumphant coast that never weeps.

A shore that has borne:
love and loss
Dreams; made and broken,
Alike it would toss.

Alexandria,
dampen my soul with your mist and moisture,
Shape my horizon,
Like your natives' curvy posture.

Evenings of purple;
setting the sun free
Calling for happiness;
Nights of unmatched glee.

Alexandria,
The city of wonder..
I grow hungry and fond,
exploring your every corner.

Alexandria,
the shore history holds dear,
ignorant of what you plan for,
yet, unable to associate you with fear.


P.S. I KNOW the scale is messed up and the sentences aren't broken in the right places...but, like everything else, writing is at it's prettiest when raw; untouched. And apologies for the lack of pictures; I am currently stranded on the desert-esque land of Saudi Arabia (no offense) and am obliged to deal with a very slow, primitive dial up connection.

Please do let me what you think!